yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
