similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
help me choose which girl to send myself boning to my girlfriend to make her want to break up
which one looks the most like her?
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Randomize
