We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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