I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
It's 3 in the morning and there is a bird chirping it's head off outside. GOD DAMNIT THIS IS NOT A TIME TO SING OF YOUR CHEERFUL BIRD MERRIMENT YOU STUPID BIRD CUNT!
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
