Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
ttyl tear gas
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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