I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
