Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize