i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize