my nick name has gotton too long over the years..C.T.P.S.G.F.P.G.......cock tease private school groupie frat party groupie.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
ACTUALLY FUNNIEST MOMENT OF THE NIGHT WAS WHEN YOU WERE TALKING TO HIM AND YOU SAID "WHEN YOU MEET ME IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE A LOT ANGRIER." And then he said "WHEN I MEET YOU IN REAL LIFE I WILL BE LESS DRUNK, HOPEFULLY."
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
Randomize
