I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
