I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
I will be your sherpa up the mountain of gayness
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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