Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
