BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
oh my god. my mom just found my pipe. she thought it was a dildo.
like i said, there should be a sitcom about your family.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
We don't watch enough power rangers
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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