I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Randomize
