ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
You took a bar mat shot.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
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