Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
this is a preemptive text before you call me freaking out: i have your keys and your car is parked safely a block down from your apartment.
you are a goddess
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
Randomize
