Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
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