you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
