Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Randomize
