we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
