She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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