I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
My apartment stinks of burning failure
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
