Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
This love triangle bullshit is getting out of hand. It's now a love polygon and I want out
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