i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
I want to get so drunk, you will need subtitles to understand me. Rough week.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
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