I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
