Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I'm not gonna lie. The thing I miss the most about him right now is the air conditioned hotel rooms.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
