Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
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