she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
she uses eco-friendly sex toys. she is the literal definition of a hippie.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
