Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I refuse to go to this wedding alone, or sober. Practice drunk-walking in heels and a Bridesmaid dress begins tonight.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Randomize
