I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
He told me he wished he could shrink down to a small size so he could live inside my cleavage
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
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