We got so high we made milksteak
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Randomize
