i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
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