i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
i out mim tonsoeep
Randomize
