Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
