It's Friday. Sex?
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
