I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
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