i think my tv is drunk
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
