I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
