I must be too annoying 4 u.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
And I was slip and sliding my life away on a giant tarp with tons of soap and bitches. Priorities man, priorities.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Randomize
