Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
