Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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