But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I don't need romance, I need cheese sticks
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
