the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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