That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
It's a self-perpetuating puke chain.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
Randomize
