Kiss
Puke
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
COCAINE IS GR8
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
