Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
Randomize
