whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
