Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
