He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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