I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize