Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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