Well apparently he's into motor boating.
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Randomize
