I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
