it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
