based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Move ovrr Titanoc and all you others. Heres the real tale of woe. This ladys failed search for boozdy goodnezs.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
