just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Randomize
