I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
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